Does this sound familiar? When I get my divorce and find someone else, then I’ll be happy!
This type of thinking puts the experience of happiness into the future. We all do it. But it’s a big mistake!
The problem is that so many of us believe: “I will be happy when…” Marketers love it when we think like that. Commercials play off the feeling that you will be happy when you drink that soda, drive that new car or take an exotic vacation. It’s no wonder we have fallen into a consumer mentality. Of course, once you get that car, or start that new job, or meet your next lover, the happiness you first experience fades away with time.
So what’s the answer to deep and lasting happiness? True happiness is an inside job. Yes, it is possible to be happy, no matter what your outside circumstances are. Try this little experiment: smile at people in the grocery store next time you go shopping. Notice how strangers respond to a friendly smile. You’d be surprised how simple it is to feel happy!
Inside happiness is closely aligned to what we think, what we tell ourselves, and how we view our circumstance in life. By shifting from feeling like a victim into owning what part you played in the break-up gives you the opportunity to learn and grow from this experience. There is strength in reaching out to others when you need help. Sometimes it takes a caring person who has the ability to be fair and honest with you to lend some support to help you move on with your life.
If you are happy on the inside, your outer circumstances will reflect that happiness. For example, my husband and I recently moved from one house that was in a busy, noisy neighborhood. Together we worked on fixing up that house and turned it into a lovely place to be sold (which made us feel accomplished and happy). Together we created a list of 30 things that both of us wanted in our new home. (Putting our ideas together on paper, created a strong feeling of teamwork)
The top choices on my list were to have a lot of light inside the house, see beautiful nature outside, and to have that wonderful new smell inside. My husbands’ high ranking priorities were to have lawn care provided, be move-in ready, and to fit within our budget. Our realtor, who was like a breath of fresh air herself, helped us sell the old house and used the list of 30 things to find us the new house.
The new house has all the things on our list and more. It’s located in a cozy neighborhood on a gorgeous golf course, at the end of a long fairway, surrounded by trees, with great neighbors and quiet living. It was completely remodeled, with lawn care and it fell within our budget.
Teamwork, visioning and taking responsibility for your actions go a long way to create inner happiness. It’s possible to create more and more happiness in your life by being happy NOW. Stop yourself when you are heading down the rabbit hole of saying…I’ll be happy when. Future events may bring you even more happiness than you ever thought possible; if it is a magnification of your happiness right now.
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